If i come over, it means nothing
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Randomize