Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Randomize