Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
