so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
