when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
