What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize