It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
