I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
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