Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
