just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Quick, to the slutcave!
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
