Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Randomize
