i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize