just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
