That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
