so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
