I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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