Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Randomize
