Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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