You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
