I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
it hurts more in the daytime
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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