its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
