Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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