i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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