bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Randomize
