So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
