Just mADE A PArabola og urine
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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