lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
