is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
