Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(864): View more from South Carolina

she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.

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(310): View more from California

Obama is so hot when he ends wars.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it

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(860): View more from Connecticut

Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?

(1-860): View more from Connecticut

I don't understand but I'll be there in 5

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(209): View more from California

His new job just became new places to have sex at.

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(214): View more from Texas

I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu

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(541): View more from Oregon

Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"

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