I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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