Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
