so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize