New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
