too bad you live with your parents still
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Randomize
