smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
