Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
so that wasnt chicken after all
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Randomize