I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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