Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
