i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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