I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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