ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
