she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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