ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
