I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
