his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Randomize
