Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I want you more than these girls want KFC
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
