we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
