Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
