you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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