so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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