I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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