i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
