We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
operation harelip BJ is a go
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Your shirt... Was in my pants
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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