I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
