Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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