im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
