when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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