Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
