I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Randomize
