Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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