I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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