well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
