So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I wish there were birth control emojis
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
